


Fall Apart

by dessertdoie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hearing Voices, Mental Health Issues, Other, Panic Attacks, its not too bad i promise, possible trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:46:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22519456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dessertdoie/pseuds/dessertdoie
Summary: Where? Where were they?
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Everyone
Comments: 1
Kudos: 66





	Fall Apart

**Author's Note:**

> I PROMISE this isn't as bad as I made it out to be

Where? Where were they? Was the only thing that Taeyong’s brain could think of right now, insane, he was going insane. He wasn’t drowning in a pool of thoughts, he couldn’t be that’s impossible. The only real thing he new was real at this minute in time was the anxiety. The anxiety felt like it was flowing through his veins, making him feel as cool as ice. Like there was something pressing hard on his chest, around his neck, stopping his breath. It was almost like Taeyong could hear them, faint voices in the back of his head messing and toying with his emotions, his thoughts. Why weren’t they here right now, here with him to fight of the monster that he felt was inside him. The voices weren’t so faint and soft in his mind anymore. They were screaming his ears and pounding around his head convincing him of terrible things. He was starting to feel the burn of bitter tears behind his eyes, threatening to fill to the brim of his lash line. “They don’t want someone as worthless as you Taeyongie.” “You couldn’t be good enough for them or obviously they would be here with you right now.” They were starting to convince the wheezing male curled up on the cold hardwood floor that was starting to struggle with the symptoms of a panic attack. He was trying so hard to fight through it, to breathe, not let the tears out, and not believe the horrid voices of his thoughts. It was getting harder and Taeyong felt as he just wasn’t in control anymore, not even in control of the way he started to shake and cry. He didn’t want this anymore, didn’t want to feel the overpowering guilt and doubt. Taeyong didn’t feel strong not like his beloved members and therapist say he is. He’s so weak that he can't even get over this himself. Taeyong felt weak, he believed he was weak, he was weak. The thoughts and voices were so loud in his mind making him cry out. Hatred. Hatred for himself was the only thing he could feel for himself, there was nothing he even loved about his life anymore. He felt like he was dying, struggling to breathe, his chest burned and his face soaked in what seemed like never stopping tears. His whole figure tense on unmoving from the curled up position on the floor. He felt so pathetic and awfully small on the floor like this. Guilty for not being able to get over the problems he has. “That’s probably why they aren’t here Taeyongie, they're sick and tired of having to put up with your stupid problems.” That’s all it took for Taeyong, it was like the ice had finally unfroze. His whole body was frozen except for his pounding heart in his stiff aching chest and the pity tears that wouldn’t stop. His mind spoke so loud that he didn’t hear the door had now opened and his members were now flooding in. He was stuck on the floor trembling, gasping for air and sobbing. Couldn’t even process the members crying out to him in distress, all so worried and scared about their most loved member. Taeyong hated that he made them scared and worried for him all the time, guilty. Suddenly he could feel the warmth of hands contrasting from the bitter coldness he felt, picking him off the floor like he weighed nothing and onto the comfort of their chest. Taeyong doesn’t know who picked him up because his back is to them, but he can see some of his terrified members through the blur of tears, trying to snap him out of it. He was starting to feel warmer, unfreezing at the sight of his members, breathing slowing down with ease. They did want him, and like all the other times his dark, twisted mind was wrong. They cared so much for him, helping him calm down from his panic attack. He soon felt tired and couldn’t even say anything to the worried others before he passed out on source of warmth, breathing now calmed down and tears drying. When he finally woke up, he wasn’t scared anymore. He knew they were there. He knew that they cared.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/dessertdoyoung)


End file.
